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"I can’t wait,” he said forcing a smile as he looked at her. Sirius had no idea what he was going to do about the baby. Short of pushing her down the stairs, there wasn’t much he could do at this point and while he might have callously suggested while drunk that he’d be okay if she took a tumble, he wasn’t actually the sort of person to follow through with any such thing. The rest of his family might have been that sort, they were still unclear about how exactly Uncle Alphard had died and with him being wiped off the Black Family Tapestry so shortly after his death, Sirius wouldn’t have put it past his father to have orchestrated something in the kind man’s demise. No, he wasn’t going to hurt Regina, or force a miscarriage, but that didn’t mean he was going to keep up this marriage charade any longer. It had gone on far too long as it was, and humor he had once found in drunkenly marrying a pop star had long since worn tired.

The second she was gone, Sirius went into the bedroom and found his trousers and a shirt that didn’t have any visible stains or overwhelming odor under the arms. He dressed as quickly as possible, checking the window every few minutes just to make sure Regina had really left, then trotted down to the street and hopped on his motorcycle. He wasn’t sure where exactly to find a divorce solicitor, but he wasn’t going home until he had one on retainer.

Finally, she was coming to her senses. Even if she thought it was her idea to have this little break up chat, at least it was happening. Thank sodding Merlin. Sirius moved into the living room as Regina sat on the sofa but he did not sit with her as she indicated. Instead, he stood near the chair opposite her and waited for her to speak, not bothering to curb his need to scratch his arse in front of her.

"I'm not...You're not going to... What the hell is your problem, woman?!" Sirius was at a clear loss for words. He and his mates joked often about how Regina was clearly not all right in the head, and after enough chats with Remus, James, and even Lily, Sirius could see where he might have led Regina on a bit, but he really thought he'd been clear this time. Telling her to abort their baby and then leaving for more than a month should have been straight forward enough. Apparently not.

The last several weeks had been a long-needed reprieve from the weird turn his life had taken as of late. It had been forever since he'd thought of Regina, their ill-conceived marriage, or of the baby he assumed had been aborted by now. He was having plenty of fun crashing with Wormtail as if they were still in the dorms back at Hogwarts, only now with more booze, female companions (for him at least - Peter was shockingly lacking in that department), and loads more freedom to come and go as they pleased. Sirius was having a right good time doing absolutely fuck all with his day until he heard Regina's voice coming from the front room. When he'd heard the lock turning, he had assumed it was his flatmate home early from work, and not given a second thought to walking around the apartment in nothing but his boxers and rummaging through the fridge looking for something to eat. He nearly dropped the jug of orange juice he'd been holding, but managed to stand himself upright and kick the refrigerator door closed with his foot as he turned to the sound of her voice. "What're you doing here?" he asked, his jaw dropping as his eyes fell on her swollen stomach which very much resembled Sirius' own gut after finishing a two large pizzas by himself on a dare.

“No idea. I was out of there.” He may come to regret the way he handled Regina in that moment but Sirius was still too worked up over it all to get to that point. Annoyed, he stood and began pacing the length of Peter’s couch. “I mean, what the hell was I supposed to say? I can’t have a kid with her! She’s an absolute nut!”

Regina’s fawning was growing evermore annoying and while he enjoyed watching James and Lily join in with poking fun at her, he was actually quite pleased when Remus suggested they switch gears and head to the table. He could keep Regina’s hands busy with her food instead of fondling him like a new puppy. “There’s a good lad,” he said to Harry as he plopped him carefully into his highchair next to where Lily and James would be sitting, then reluctantly took his seat next to Regina. “Looks great, Evans,” Sirius said as he scooped a large helping of potatoes onto his plate.

“Bloody hell, Wormtail. She’s really lost the plot this time!” Sirius let himself into the flat, having been muttering to himself the entire time he was trudging up the building’s stairs, announcing himself seemingly mid-conversation. There was no need for formalities and certainly there wasn’t the time! Regina was trying to trap him with a sodding baby!!! There weren’t enough exclamation marks in the whole of Britain to convey the shock, horror, and urgency of the matter.

Peter, for his part, seemed as though he’d been readying himself all morning for this conversation. There was even an extra beer waiting for him on the ring-stained coffee table in front of the scrawny bloke. “I told you she was a loon! A complete nutter. They ought to lock her up at St Mungo’s and throw away the key.” He plopped down onto the sofa, leaving enough space between him and Peter that two more men could have sat there, and sank into the cushions. He let out an anguished groan as his head fell backwards and he stared at the ceiling. There were spots of something on the ceiling, most likely old beer from when Sirius had attempted to chug a pint while doing a handstand and ended up crashing into the table and catapulting the other mugs of beer across the room. The splatter looked like a constellation, but he wasn’t sure what the picture was supposed to be. Probably a sodding baby, the way his luck was going.