Love Can Go F* Itself || Rodolphus ||

Valentine’s Day was supposedly the day for lovers but that always seemed like such a crock of dragon dung to Rodolphus. Really, the day was designed for men to show off the hot piece of ass who had agreed to be seen with him on a regular basis, and for women to boast about how wealthy their man was by parading their jewelry and gifts about to their friends. It was completely superficial and at least that part Rodolphus understood. He knew what it meant to keep up appearances and it was that reason alone that he had always showered his girlfriends with gifts and taken them out to lavish dinners only a Lestrange could afford at the age of 15. He continued to put on the show with Bellatrix once their engagement was officially announced and of course after they were properly married. Rod pulled out all the stops because there wasn’t any reason not to, and he always appeared the doting husband to the public eye.

It wasn’t until Aurora turned three that he really began to care about the so-called holiday after she scribbled him a ‘love letter’ with her crayons and colorful pieces of parchment that she glued together. Public appearance didn’t mean nearly as much to the rather self-absorbed wizard as the look of glee on his daughter’s face when he presented her with a special gift that he chose specifically for her. At three he bought her a Pegasus with a little side carriage, so they could go riding together. When she turned four she received a playhouse for the back garden that was nearly the size of a small cottage, with a little kitchen where her house elf Mopsy could fix her tea for a tea party in the garden. This year, Aurora had been given a toy broomstick that was nearly identical to Rodolphus’ (which she constantly begged for a ride on), along with miniature quidditch robes with her daddy’s favorite team logo on the breast and her name written in glittery, swirled letters on the back. The holiday itself might have been superficial, but Rodolphus put in the extra effort for the princess he loved.

Over the many years it had not gone unnoticed by Rodolphus that his mistress became sulky come mid-February. He had always been rather preoccupied by his public relationships on the 14th and for the first few years after Dorcas graduated from Hogwarts, he had attempted to see her the day after Valentine’s Day owing to the fact that the respectable shagging that occurred the night before was not nearly as exciting as what Dorcas usually allowed him to get up to. It became apparent rather quickly that she had no interest in seeing him the day after Valentine’s Day and though she often did allow him to visit the day following, she was still rather sulky. In time they had created a little pattern, without even recognizing what they were doing – or perhaps Dorcas was well aware but Rodolphus simply acted on instinct and didn’t think much about it.

Stomping his feet on the porch to shake loose the snow he had trekked through from the point on the road where he had apparated, Rodolphus shifted the large pizza box he carried in his hand. He unlocked the front door and entered without a word. Normally he would call out something obscene as a warning that he had arrived but not today. Today he crossed into the lounge where Dorcas had clearly been camped for a few days and set the pizza down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He heard the refrigerator door shut and headed in toward the kitchen to see Dorcas standing in front of the freezer wearing pyjamas and looking as though she had actually showered today which was, admittedly, not the sight he was expecting to walk in on after so many years of this. It only took a few long strides for Rodolphus to cross the tiny kitchen and approach Dorcas from behind, running his right hand around her waist until his hand was pressed against her stomach, and his left hand pushed the freezer door closed. “I brought pizza,” he said, speaking softly into her ear as if he was whispering sweet nothings instead of announcing the arrival of food.

Her slender frame warmed his chest as Dorcas relaxed into him, her small hands covering his large one which rested on her flat stomach. They fit together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; there was never a need to force it when they came together, never any awkward shifting or uncomfortableness. If there was such a thing a divine intervention, it had certainly played a part in bringing these two together. Dorcas fit perfectly with him, no matter the position Rodolphus twisted her into. Her green eyes looked up into his caramel ones, and she asked about the pizza, pineapple specifically, which she knew he hated. If she was half as smart as she thought she was though, she would have known that he did indeed have pineapple put on it for her. Half of it, at least. The other half had mushrooms and sausage to go with the pepperoni, which was a much more appropriate assortment of toppings for a pizza. “I brought you pizza, doll, not rubbish.” He smirked at her, thinking she was an idiot if she really doubted him.

Roddy had been in her presence for less than a minute, but as she had yet to arrest him or even put herself in a less vulnerable position against him, he figured they were going to simply ignore the erumpent in the room. Not even a week ago she had spied the tattoo on his arm which he normally concealed with a charm but had become visible as he was being summoned to speak with the man who she had no doubt thought Rodolphus served for some time. They never mentioned their suspicions of each other, there wasn’t really a need to. They only had one purpose in each other’s lives and that was one of pleasure. They never really talked, knowing they had nothing substantial in common. She was an Auror and muggle lover, he was a business wizard and Death Eater. What would they have talked about besides the few superficial things they had learned about each other naturally over the course of their affair? They liked similar music, enjoyed training physically and magically, they both ran but rarely together. Dorcas enjoyed forcing Rodolphus to watch that strange muggle tele with her, which he normally only agreed to if she was sitting on his dick at the time. Not talking suited them, they were both more people of action than words, anyway.

He spun her around and lifted her up to his chest, spreading her thighs so that she could wrap herself around him as he folded his hands under her plump arse. “Don’t ask stupid questions,” he said with a small laugh as he carried her from the kitchen back into the lounge where the pizza waited for them with a little surprise sitting on top. Literally, sitting right smack on top of the pizza were Dorcas’ two tiny kittens who had decided at that moment to take advantage of the warm seat and had curled up against one another on top of the pizza box. “What the fucking fuck?” he murmured under his breath as he stepped into the room, a gorgeous brunette in his arms and a dinner now squashed beneath the adorable little bodies of her new furry companions.

“Train your animals better,” Rodolphus said with a slight grin, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as a humored disapproval. The grin Dorcas was giving him made her whole face appear to light up. There was a little gleam in her eye as she looked at him, not the same sort of gleam that he would normally see if she were planning something perverse and taboo. This was a happy gleam and Rodolphus’ chest suddenly felt funny as he looked at her, as if he had just run two kilometers. There was no reason for it and he ignored it, covering up the strange sensation by smacking Dorcas’ bum hard and then letting her gently fall to the floor, making sure her feet touched the ground first before he fully released her.

Shooing the kittens off the pizza box, and ultimately having to pick the stubborn black and white one up and move it to the floor where it yawned and flexed its claws onto the rug, Rodolphus flipped open the lid to reveal a half-pineapple, half-proper pizza. It was an abomination he put up with simply because Dorcas was the best shag he’d had in his life, and keeping her around meant making sacrifices like letting a piece of pineapple occasionally touch one of his slices and then moaning about her classless taste in food until she either hopped on his lap and made it up to him or they found something else to do, though shagging was the primary way that they sated an impending argument. Rodolphus gave the little kitten a gentle head rub with his shoe as the other kitten clawed at his laces and managed to hook one claw in deep enough to pull his lace loose.

Rodolphus grabbed a slice of pizza and reclined easily into the couch. He took a bite and pulled the remaining slice away, letting the warm cheese stretch and then finally break off and dangle in the air. He hadn’t bothered to fetch them any plates and he didn’t find a need for them. Pizza was a finger food. Had they been eating a proper supper at the table, that would have been one thing, but a casual belated Valentine’s day tradition of pizza on the couch and falling asleep while Dorcas insisted on watching that damned muggle contraption didn’t call for dishes and cutlery. Maybe a bottle of beer. Dorcas would of course want a hot cocoa before long. It would be an easy night tonight, and Rodolphus pulled Dorcas down onto the couch beside him as he used one foot to slide of the opposite shoe, then the next, and let the kittens chew on the laces as he leaned back into the cushion and got comfortable.

Had she been wearing a pair of her incredibly tight trousers, her position in front of the muggle box would have given Roddy a decent view of the top of her arse, but her bum was swaddled in somewhat loose and definitely comfortable pyjamas that didn’t do much for her figure. It was a shame, he loved watching her bend over with her rear pointed in his direction, but tonight was not about bending her in half like a folding chair and making her scream; it was about keeping her happy enough to want to shag him later on. Rodolphus assumed this little bout of melancholy she went through each February had little to do with himself and more to do with the lack of any legitimate suitors in her life. That bit suited him well enough, as he didn’t expect Dorcas would be as open to bouncing on his dick several times a week if she was in a committed relationship with someone else.

Munching on his pizza and sipping the beer she summoned for him, Rodolphus waited to see what monstrosity she would be forcing him to pretend to watch on the little muggle box. Words came on the screen and music began to play over the opening credits. Rodolphus tuned it out for the most part, choosing instead to watch as Dorcas crossed his view and then sat beside him with her own slice of pizza. She nudged his arm as the music from the tele box ended and a narrator began to speak. Rodolphus lifted his arm and snaked it around the tiny brunette who was curled into him in a similar way that the kittens had curled into each other to nap on the pizza box.

Brown eyes flicking over to the screen, and Rodolphus soon learned the real reason they were watching a drawn programme instead of one of her muggle-acted shows. An ornate storybook opened, revealing elaborately written script, and when the page turned again, his right eyebrow arched high on his handsome face. His head tilting ever so slightly so that Dorcas’ devilish little face could be more easily seen as she cuddled up against him, he glared at her. His daughter’s name had been chosen as it vaguely fell in line with the Black’s tradition of naming their children after stars yet it was different enough that Rodolphus felt smug in knowing he had spitted his wife and her parents. Bella had claimed there was some poetic meaning behind it, that Aurora, which meant something like ‘the dawn,’ would be the dawning of a new generation of wizarding royalty. And she was royalty. The Lestranges were the closest thing the wizarding world had to a monarchy, so her informal title of ‘princess’ was completely appropriate. And yet here Dorcas was, ruining it all with what she assumed was a very clever ploy to embarrass Rodolphus for having named his daughter the same as a character in her muggle movie. “Jealous your precious muggles haven’t made a mow-vie featuring your own child’s name in song? Is this you hinting that you want to bear me a little prince?” he asked rhetorically, not expecting or wanting an answer to such a preposterous question.

Roddy saw that this programme was not like the other ones Dorcas normally made him suffer through. This was drawn and animated, not unlike the drawings his own Aurora would have him enchant whenever they colored together, but of course these were more sophisticated than the five year old was capable of. His little princess squealed with laughter as her creations danced on the parchment at the whim of Rodolphus’ magic, and he couldn’t help but think that she would be utterly amazed by this bit of muggle technology Dorcas forced upon him every so often. Especially if she found out that the princess, who was now being blessed by utterly unrealistic looking fairies, shared her name. How easily entertained a young mind could be, and all too easily seduced, if he was not careful. Luckily for his sweet little girl, she would not be subjected to such disgusting muggle creations. Settling in for what was undoubtedly going to be a long night of Dorcas tormenting him over his daughter’s name, Rodolphus took another large bite of his pizza.