call it what you want (ADEN)

Isadora felt her breath hitch when she saw him. His dark clothes, his shaggy hair, she always thought that Aden looked like a monochromic picture caught in time. The take away cup in hand, and the bundle of beautiful flowers, she knew that she had to tell him. It was only fair that he knew. She was sure that he wouldn't want to be doing all of this cute stuff if he knew that it was slowly killing her. She set her cup down by her feet and watched him walk up towards where she was sitting.
"Hey there, Adkins." She responded, trying to take in a few breaths to steady her nerves for this conversation.

When he handed her the flowers, she felt her heart skip again.
"For me?" She asked taking them and giving them a smell. "They're beautiful, thank you." the conversation was going to suck. He was going to take the flowers back, get awkward and tell her that he didn't return the feelings and that he was sorry if he did something to lead her on. She had the imaginary conversation with him about a million times since she was seventeen. Every time she explained her feelings to him, in her imagination, he would reject her. He would cite Delilah, not returning the feelings, not wanting her in that way.

She knew that Delilah would be back soon, they would have to make room between them for the brunette between them. It was how it always was. Anytime Aden and Isadora would try to spend time alone at Hogwarts, Delilah would slide between them and be part of it. Isadora was sure that Delilah knew on some level that Isadora had feelings for Aden. She was sure that Delilah knew what she was harboring and was trying to protect Isadora from the embarrassment of Aden's rejection.

"Aden," She said, hearing the joke about himself. She sniffed the flowers and tried to gain the courage to tell him. He was someone who she wanted to be with. He was someone who she had cared about so deeply and so completely since she was seventeen. "I don't know if I'm ready for her to come back because I'm not quite ready to get rid of you."

She wanted to keep pouring over case files, eating cold noodles, drinking pots of coffee, she wanted to keep spending time with Aden. She just couldn't keep doing it with how she felt.

this is a little short, but here are some feels.

The words were burning her tongue, her throat, her stomach. It was a fire inside of her that she couldn't figure out what to do with. She kept replaying that night at his apartment when he told her about his investigation. Every night since then where they would fall asleep on his couch or on the bed in his spare room. Every second that she wanted to tell him about her feelings, every last time when she bit back her thoughts and choked on her feelings.
"You ever tell me you want a nice bloke on your arm, and you know I'll support you." She shot back at him, and placed the flowers on her lap. She wanted to believe that he picked up the flowers because he cared for her too. That he saw them and thought that they were beautiful and thought of her. Chances were better that he just was being friendly. Aden was never one to pick up on cues when he was giving out signals to people.

The way his face scrunched up in confusion when she admitted that she wasn't looking forward to Delilah coming back came like a punch to the gut. It wasn't that she didn't miss Delly, and of course she would feel better knowing that her best friend was safe rather than off in some rural farm land or random city she had never heard of.
"Don't look at me like that. I miss her as much as you do, I just-" She just wanted to continue having this time with without Delilah dragging her off to some club or beach.

She wanted to say something like, I don't want to be your friend, Adkins. I want to be your girlfriend. I want you to love me half as much as I love you. I want you to look at me like you know everything I'm thinking and I want you to be my person.".
"You have two friends and one of them was in the womb with you. I think statistically you're a loser no matter what." She shot back with a smirk over her coffee cup. His arm on the back of the bench, the comfort between them, she loved it.
"But you're my loser, so what can I say? I guess it makes two of us."

She took a deep breath, sipping her coffee to gain some courage. This would have been a moment for Delilah. She had this thing where she can see two people and know they would have been good together. She wished she had talked to her best friend about this, but her fear of Delilah becoming angry or hating the idea of them together kept her feelings to herself.
"I-" She set the coffee cup back down by her feet and tried to think of the words. "I have feelings for you, Aden. I have for some time now and I need you to know that."

The words hung between them and she wished she could gobble them back up. She wasn't sure what in the world she was thinking. Why she would ever assume that she was someone he wanted to be with. He was working at the Ministry with these kick ass women, women who could kick down doors, and protect themselves. Isadora was a daily prophet intern, a mouse who liked to pretend that she could be a tiger in her field.
"I just needed you to know that."

this is a little short, but here are some feels.

In all of the times she pictured telling Aden about her feelings, she pictured him laughing in her face. She pictured him walking away. She pictured a look of pity and a oh honey, no. from his sweet lips. She pictured him taking her hands and explaining that he liked her like a sister. That she was always going to be Delilah's best friend and nothing else could come from it. What she never pictured, was this.

She never thought that Aden could be so crass with her emotions. She never thought that Aden would literally jump away from her. That he would cause a scene in the middle of the park as a way of letting her know, letting all of the happy families and dogs in the park know that he had no interest in her. Hot chocolate spilled all over, making her flinch from the extreme reaction. That her telling him this stupid, stupid thing was so horrible to hear that he had to physically leave the space next to her.

All she could do was grip her coffee cup in her hands, hoping that he would just walk away. Hoping that he would save her some dignity and just walk away and let that be the end of the friendship. She could just be friends with Delilah, or even find a way to live without either Adkins. She could never ask one to be without the other, they meant too much to her for that.

The way he paced, the way he looked just so confused, and - She hated to think it - horrified at the idea that she had feelings for him. Feelings that she should have done a better job at suppressing. Feelings that she should have channeled into something else. A new relationship, a new hobby, anything. Anything that could have pushed the feelings down and kept them there. Hell, she should have gone down Delilah's route and just fucked someone. She kicked herself for not doing any of that, and instead she spent countless hours with that man. She curled up by his side on his couch and read over mountains of case files. She wore her pajamas and hummed while she made coffee in the morning. She got comfortable in his life. She fooled herself into believing that she had some part of his life other than his friend. She fooled herself for too long and it was too painful to think about going back.

When he stopped pacing and finally looked at her, she couldn't meet his gaze. His eyes too blue, his expression too much, she couldn't do it. She held her coffee cup and just waited for the words that her little fantasies always ended in I'm sorry Iz, but I don't feel the same way for you. She avoided his gaze and started to come up with a list of places she would rather be than the receiving end of his painful gaze. She thought about walking on hot coals, dinner with her parents, walking into the forbidden forest in the middle of a full moon. The list grew as long as the silence between them.

When he crouched, and took her hands, she was ready for it. She wanted him to just tell her that there was no chance and give her an opportunity to move on. To meet someone who wanted to be with her, who would smile and dance for joy at her feelings. She tried to avoid his gaze, but there was little choice when he was right there.

He was holding her hands, he was looking at her like he was at least going to let her down gently with his charming smile. Break her heart a little more gently than his previous actions let her believe. His words didn't make sense. What could he mean that she was never going to get rid of her when he was jumping away from her and practically running for dear life.
"What do you-" her words were cut off by his lips on hers and broke every dam that kept back her emotions since he handed those flowers.

Her hands went to his cheeks, her heart was thunder in her ears. She returned the kiss like she thought about doing a million times in the last two years. She kissed Aden and unless this was some sick joke, she had every intention of doing it again.

these two kill me.

She felt like she was floating. She would read romance novels and watch movies and there was always a they were floating line that Isadora would roll her eyes at. Kissing Aden, her first kiss ever being with someone who she cared so much for. It was Aden's kiss that showed her what those books wrote about. It was Aden who she was supposed to be kissing all along and she never wanted to kiss anyone else. When he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her fingers through his hair. This was her first kiss and damn, it was perfect. She held on tighter when he spun them around, and buried her face in his neck laughing when he broke the kiss and held her so tightly.

"You scared me, Aden. Thought you were going to tell me you didn't like me or something." She said into the crook of his neck, picking up to look at him. To feel like they were together in this space without the families, and the picnics, and the dogs. Right now it was just them and just their moment together. Nothing else was important and she just wanted to have his hands on her. She never got crushes in Hogwarts, knowing her classmates since they were children helped with that. Aden was the only one. She couldn't even picture anyone else by her side.

Isadora kissed him again, keeping it shorter and sweeter this time.
"I came close to telling you last year." She admitted, running her fingers over his cheeks, through his hair, to the base of his neck, "I wanted to tell you just how much I care about you, but I chickened out and you had much more important things to show me." It was better now. She knew what he was working on, she knew his secrets. If they had told each other that night, who knows where they would be right now. Aden hiding his research. Isadora too in love to question him.

She smirked at him and ran her fingers up to his lips,
"You want to keep kissing me, but probably not in a park?"

these two kill me.

Isadora couldn’t believe she had been so wrong for so many years about this. That she would be rejected, dismissed, utterly humiliated by Aden when he felt the same way for her.
”I’ve had a crush on you since my seventh year. I really don’t feel like any of this was sprung on you.” There was a good chance that Delilah knew this whole time, and if she did, Isadora was going to have a long talk with the other witch.
“Don’t blame how dense you can be on me. You’re just lucky I find it endearing.”

The times when she would fall asleep looking over files with him. When she would wake up with Aden right next to her, a shared blanket over them for warmth. When Aden would make them coffee in the morning and she would fry up some breakfast. Aden was the first kiss that she wanted to wait for, and the first man who she could genuinely see herself caring for. Aden was someone who was always going to be worth the wait for her.

She felt a little nervous at his declaration of wanting to snog her wildly, making a part of her wonder just how anti-social Aden truly was. She kissed him softly and was grateful when her feet were returned to the ground.
“Wildly? That was my first kiss, so I don’t know how wildly I have in me.” She admitted with a grin. She knew what people sometimes thought about her, she was best friends with Delilah ‘free spirit and free love’ Adkins. Delilah would bring anyone home, and Isadora was the shy virgin who poured everything into her writing. Even her offer to continue kissing him not in the park was starting to feel fake. She enjoyed what they just did, she enjoyed how sweet and loving it was, but she also wasn't sure where her limits were. She never even had someone in her life long enough to push her limits before. She knew that even with everything she was feeling, Aden was the one.

Isadora squeezed his hands and felt any annoyance at him for making her wait what felt like an eternity melt away,
“You’re lucky you’re cute, Adkins.” She looked at the spilled hot chocolate and spotted a nearby coffee shop.
“Want to go grab another hot chocolate since your dramatic self knocked that one over?” A part of her wanted to see how wild Aden could be. She was curious to see how similar the Adkins children could be, but she was also nervous. She was nervous that Aden would have way more experience than her. She was nervous she wouldn't be any good at whatever it was he wanted to do. She was also nervous that they would dive too deep into this and burn out too quickly. She wanted to enjoy the sweetness before it got complicated.

these two kill me.

Isadora shoved his shoulder, keeping it playful the way they’ve always been together.
“Keep it up, Adkins, and that’ll be the last time you get to kiss me.” She warned, feeling embarrassment creep onto her cheeks when he realized that Aden had taken her first kiss when he kissed her.

“That’s it! No more kisses.” She said with a defiant pout. She had heard it plenty of times from various friends about how she had to go out there and meet someone. Looking back on it, she never heard that from Delilah. Her usually free loved friend was always supportive of her wanting to wait for the right time. She was going to hit Delilah as she realized quickly that it was because her best friend knew about her feelings for Aden and knew that he returned them. He wanted to keep making fun of her for waiting, then she was going to make him wait even longer.

She couldn’t even pretend to be mad at him. When he started to talk about showering her in coffee and affection, she couldn’t even be mad at him any longer.
“What about you? Take more after Delly than I realized?” She asked, terrified of the answer. She knew that Delilah was open and loving to anyone who was available to her, but she didn’t see the same thing for Aden. She wasn’t sure how she was going to feel if there was a similar list of women who had known Aden the way that Delilah had a list.

Isadora laced her fingers with his and leaned against his tall frame. She couldn’t believe how good it felt to finally tell him about how she was feeling, and more than that, how good it felt to have him return the feelings. After all of the times when she told herself it would never be possible, she could finally call Aden her own. She knew they would have to eventually tell Delilah and hope that her best friend was as supportive as she thought she would be.

“Delilah is going to come back and take it back over. Two years without her dramatic butt and you just don’t know what to do with yourself.” She enjoyed his blush and stepped forward to give him a soft kiss,
“Yeah, it would be out first date.” She wasn’t sure what they were exactly to each other, but she knew that she was going to care for him more than anyone else in her life.

these two kill me.